The Many Sides of Chiba Mamoru
by XTsukimiOdangoX
Summary: *Slight spoiler of Sailor Stars* Mamoru writes a journal entry - pyschoanalyzing himself. He writes a list of different "sides" that he has, and reflects on his past, putting his actions in catagories. Sounds stupid? Well, you're right!


Author's Notes: OH MY GOD!!! I'm really bored, so I just decided to make a short little diary entry from Mamo-chan's POV. It's about him contemplating his many sides. A lil' pointless humor story... I'm very bizarre... don't mind me...  
  
Rated R for mindless... crap... I dunno... Don't mind me...  
  
Disclaimer: I own poop. That good?  
  
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* = In the manga Mamoru has an actual attack that he only uses one or two times. It's called "Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber". In the anime, Mamoru doesn't have this attack. Kodansha is the company that owns the Sailor Moon anime, but I dunno about the manga...  
  
** = In Sailor Stars - the last series yet to be released in America - Mamoru gets a shard of glass in his eye by Nehelenia when she returns (Dun Dun DUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!). Everyone who looks in a mirror is hypnotized by her. That's how he turned evil.  
  
Many thanks to Bluejello who told me that I should make a section called BROTHERLY (which was re-named to PROTECTIVE), FATHERLY, and NEAT-FREAK (which was re-named TIDY). THANKIES!!!!!  
  
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Dear Journal,  
  
I've come to a conclusion... There are many, MANY sides to people. Sometimes people show these sides in a drastic - and at times disturbing - display. I, unfortunately, have many sides as well. This diary entry is a reflection on all the things I have done in my life and organizing them into catagories of my many personalities. And, no, I do not mean schizophrenia.  
  
SENSIBLE: Everyone has this side, but not many use it. I, frankly, hate this side of me. I would like to take a flare gun and blow that section of my brain into tiny bits. Why you ask? Why would someone as calm and studious as myself hate their sensible side? Well, to be honest, my sensible side it quite evil. Every five seconds it screams at me, saying: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING STEADY WITH A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL?!!!!!! SHE'S JAILBAIT FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! I don't like it when my sensible side puts in his two cents... It causes many conflicts... ¬_¬  
  
HORMONE/TESTOSTERONE RAGED: This is the the most aggrivating part of me. Many a-time I have mental arguments between my sensible side and my hormone/testosterone raged side... These fights are always revolving around Usako, of course... Damn that girl... She's so.... GAAAHHHH!!!! There goes it goes again... I swear, my life consists of cold showers... When she's fighting as Sailor Moon, and she's got that short blue skirt on... Jesus H. Christ, it's horrible... Atleast I never have to worry about using Viagra... -_-;  
  
HYPER: When this side of me is revealed to anyone, it gets VERY ugly... A hyper Mamoru, is not a good Mamoru. It's like... Putting a horny male cat in the same room as a cat in heat. Very scary, very disturbing, very WRONG. So far, I have been able to keep my hyper side in check. No one, not even Usako, has seen my hyper side. Motoki has seen my SLIGHTLY hyper side, when I was chocked up on caffine... But it wasn't to bad... I just jumped up on the counter of Crown Fruit Parlor and started signing "Baby Koi Ni Knock Out" by Puchi Moni at the top of my lungs. And remember, that was only SLIGHTLY hyper... O_O;  
  
STOIC: The exact opposite of my hyper side, thank God. This is the side I used to show most often. That was before Usako came into my life. After my parents' death I recoiled back from the real world. I had no friends what-so-ever and I had no desire to make any. I was so afraid that if anyone became close to me they would suffer a similar fate. That's why I teased Usako so much. That, and the fact she's so adorable when she's angry. ^_^   
  
FATHERLY: The side I use when Chibi-Usa's around. Being her dad and stuff. Of course... Then there's the dilemma where she starts hanging on me... It's quite disturbing, actually, when your daughter starts professing her undying love for you. It's was especially sick when she was Black Lady... Ugh... I don't even wanna go THERE... X_X  
  
PROTECTIVE: Me as Tuxedo Kamen or when I'm just hanging out with Usako and the girls in general. When I'm "Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber" I am VERY protective over Sailor Moon and the other senshi. I make sure that they are out of harms way with my "rose of death" as I like to call it. OK, yeah, I know, I'm pretty damn useless. I mean, A FRIGGIN' ROSE?! What the hell?! Why can't I have somehting cool like the other senshi?! It MAJORLY sucks!!! Gahh... I hate it.. I hate it... I hate it... Hell, I wouldn't even mind be a fag like Haruka, as long as I could have SOME power. I mean, sure, I have the whole "Smoking Bomber" thing, but, Kodansha wouldn't even let me use it, the bastards!* ... Anywho... Then there's the protective me in a sort of brotherly way. I hang out with the senshi, give em advice on guys or something if they need it... Just doing my part as a friend. I'm such a nice guy sometimes... ^_^   
  
ROMANTIC: The side I let shine when I'm with the love of my life. The whole red rose thing... The Tuxedo Kamen outfit... Ya know... My SMOOTH side... My "most-romantic-man-in-the-world" side... My - erm... nevermind... I'll leave that part out. Well, I must say, even though it may seem a bit concieted of me, I am pretty romantic. I mean, come on, do you know any other guy who would go out with someone four years younger then him who doesn't put out, just 'cause he loves her?! I mean... Um... Do you know anyother guy who... um... would fall in love with the same girl so MADLY and DEEPLY so many times? I mean, first there was the Silver Millenium, then when we first met here on Earth, and then after Beryl - where I didn't remember anything anymore - and I fell in love with her all over again? Come on now... THAT'S romantic, whether you wanna believe it or not! U_U  
  
TIDY: My squeaky-clean side. I always love to keep my apartment in tip-top shape. Mint condition. Usako says I'm a neat freak, but that's not true! I mean, just because I spazzed when she didn't put down a coaster before she put her cup on my coffee table (AND LEFT A RING FROM WHERE THE CUP WAS, MIND YOU!), that's doesn't mean I'm a neat freak!! OK... maybe it does... As I write this Im having a small anurism... I'm laying on my stomach on my couch writing this in pencil. Everytime I make a mistake and have to erase the little eraser crumbs fly all over the place. The couch, my clothes, the FLOOR. I'll be right back, I have to clean this mess up before I have a stroke. -_-  
  
OK, back...  
  
Well, last but - unfortunately - not least...  
  
**VIOLENT: The side of me that has a field day when taken over by Beryl or such enemies... Now, don't get your panties all in a bunch, please. Sure, I may be kind of weak when it comes to being hypnotized and mind-controlled by those evil bad guys... But come on! Cut me some slack! With Beryl I was practically dead! You expected me to be able to fight back from her evil clutches?! And then there was Nehelenia... I had a friggin' piece of glass in my eye! Christ on a pogo-stick! Practically EVERYONE was taken over by those mirrors! Even Makoto was temporarely hypnotized! It wasn't my fault! I truely am sorry for all the things I did when I was evil... Sniff... Well... with that said... I think that pretty much covers everything... (I hate my violent side, I swear!!) I guess that's the end of my list... T_T  
  
Oh well, see ya around Journal! ^_^  
  
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Author's Notes: I LOVE THE LITTLE FACES!!! o_O;;Yeah, I know what you're thinking. That the most lame thing you have ever read. And probably the most pointless. It's not a good thing when I become bored, I assure you. Scary things like this happen... Oh well... I hope no one asks for a sequel... ^_^;; Maybe I could make a whole series of all the different characters... Naw... that'd probably be lame... oh well... -_-;; Tootles, my fellow readers, and remember....  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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